You should be able to tell by now that I like hiking.
What you don’t know (probably) is that I am my own worst critic. I talk to myself in ways that would probably get me arrested for battery if I spoke to another person. If I were to talk to my kids the way I talk to myself I would lose them to the CPS system forever. If I were to talk to anyone else the way I talk to myself I would get shot a lot more often.
So why do I mention this?
Posted this on facebook a while back:
I totally just blew my mind… I typed this in response to someone’s thread…
“being sick HAPPENS….
failing doesn’t make you a failure…
awesome is as awesome thinks”
think about it… awesome IS as awesome THINKS
I suppose you could also say awesome thinks as awesome speaks since the power of life and death are in our tongues. .. and we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds
So to THINK differently we have to SPEAK differently
I KNOW this! I know that the way that I think and feel is reflected in the way that I speak. Also that the way that I speak reflects the way that I think and feel. It’s this odd circle. But, the amazing thing is that I can change one aspect of the equation and it will impact ALL the other variables. If I change the way I speak, after time it will impact the way I think; which will in turn impact the way that I feel.
So if I ultimately want to FEEL better I must speak better.
Makes a lot of sense, right?
So what does all this have to do with hiking? It’s a long convoluted path.
When we were driving we were listening to a podcast about activating your faith.
One of the ways that we HEAR the word of Christ is to SPEAK the word of Christ.
I am super bad at the segue so I am just gonna hop on the next thought.
While we were hiking I had this internal dialogue. It was probably the first real day of the hike and the first HARD day of the hike. This was a totally normal (for me) internal dialogue.
You are hiking so slow and this is so hard and you are stupid to think that you can do this hard of a hike so soon after you hurt your foot and you are a damn loser and you will NEVER be able hike the entire trail if you can’t even do one stupid section of this trail and you are NEVER gonna be fit and you are always gonna be an idiot and you are always going to be uncomfortable and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and
This went in for miles. It’s NO WONDER that by the time I stopped I felt drained and tired and cranky and horrid.
The next day when I was hiking after the first couple hours when it started getting hard the internal dialogue started in again.
You are so stupid and a loser and you are slow you are a damn fool loser WAIT! What am I supposed to believe? Am I supposed to believe what I say or what God says? I am supposed to believe what God says. OK so what does God say? Does God think I am a loser? NO! God says I am MORE than a conqueror
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.Romans 8:37
SO WAIT A FLIPPING MINUTE HERE!!!
Either God is lying (small hint… he isn’t) or I am!
So if I am not loser but I am a conqueror, what does this mean about what I am saying to myself? Does a conqueror talk like this? NO!
So what the hell am I supped to say huh?
And here I was lost.
Until I remembered
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, James 1:2
let the weak say, “I am strong.” Joel 3:10
for the joy of the LORD is your strength Nehemiah 8:10
So, the joy of the lord being my strength and joy comes from trials and I feel weak so I am strong.
(which I realize that my theological link between those scriptures might not be the strongest, but I am not a theologian!)
The thought made me laugh so hard that I couldn’t even stand any more. Sat on a rock and laughed myself silly!
Also what occurred to me
Which means what I feel is not what’s real. It’s just what’s going on with my body. FEELING happens in the body, what’s real happens in my spirit!
So as I was walking I kept repeating a NEW internal dialogue and every time I started to revert to the OLD dialogue I said SHUT UP and started repeating the new one 🙂
What I feel is not what’s real. I am supposed to count it all joy. ALL of it. Even the hard stuff. Especially the hard stuff. This is hard so I am counting it joy and the joy of the lord is my strength so I am strong because I serve a VERY big God. who has more than enough joy and love to share with me.
The pain in my feet and my shoulders was less. It was easier to walk. And then as I was walking I saw the blaze on the tree.
Blaze means so many things. In this case it was the white mark on the tree.
It occurred to me “I want to live a white blazed life”
I was thinking about the many definitions of blaze. A white spot to mark the trail. An example.
A FIERCELY burning fire.
Something that burns fiercely that shines brightly that achieves something in an impressive manner.
But also it means so much more. My life has already been blazed.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer 29:11
Sometimes in life, like on the trail the blazes aren’t as easy to see. Sometimes we turn off the path and onto a side trail. Sometimes it feels like the blazes are difficult to see. Sometimes the trail is nice and easy and easy to find.
But when the trail is hard to find you can always ask God to show you where the blaze is!
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God… and it will be given to you. James 1:5
For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. Luke 21:15
For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6
To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness Ecclesiastes 2:2
God doesn’t want you to be confused. God doesn’t want you to wonder where the trail is he wants you to see the trail and walk it!
I want to live a white blazed life. So I want to follow the blazes that God has laid out for me. And I know that I am called to be a light.
In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16
So I want to follow the blazes and I want to be a blaze. I learned many years ago in chemistry that a white flame is the hottest fire. I want to live a life so on fire for God that people look at me and want what I have. I want to ask God to show me the blazes he has placed in my life to be able to follow the plan he has laid out for me.
I want to live a white blazed life in every definition of the words. and it starts with how I speak to myself.